Ouvris Tes Yeux

My life sucks at the moment.

I thought I could hold out with a miserable, depressed person for whom it is apparently impossible for things to go right constantly around me. But I can't/don't know what to do.

Unfurled

New Songs

In other news: I didn't go to DC. The boy in my life wasn't having it. And now he wants me to stop dancing, but I don't think he realizes that I NEED THE FLIPPING MONEY.

But whatever.


I have internet now!

April in Tatters:





Let It Go Be:

~~~ Thank you, all ~~~

New followers and old readers alike, thank you for the views :] Music is my life, and I'm seriously considering pursuing my dream and doing something with it - soon. Feedback is GREATLY appreciated!

I'm trying to get some more videos of my different songs ((I have songs out the ASS)) online, but the internet situation at my place is non existent, so I'll have to take my laptop somewhere with decent bandwidth soon... I want all my music on Youtube by 2010 though. And a bunch of people are trying to get me to record in various studios, so... Hopefully I'll have more things to put up here.

I want your opinions/criticisms/whatever! I want the cold harsh truth, as that's the only way I can truly get any better.


Now to talk my advisor into letting me drop my Spanish class, even though the ABSOLUTE deadline was yesterday. And a paper to write, and packing to do... The Chicago guy called me again! This time... D.C. (!)

Living

In a house with three roommates
With the kitchen right outside my door
The smack addict lying beside me
Don't know who I am anymore
except that these red nails are plastic....

Here's the latest:





good luck/will to all :]


EDIT:
First, thank you anonymous:] I'm pretty lucky in my life most of the time.
Second: yes, that is me. Thank you :]] I love this song, but then again all the new ones are always my favourite.

lyrics:

Snakes, begin with snakes
they're the most obvious mistake
I see them sliver round your neck
And I'm quite sure you'll never get it

Eyes, begin with eyes
They hold the element
Surprise me, baby
Or can you not see me too?
For I'm quite sure I've never seen you

Open up your eyes
Let me see my lies

In my plastic house
I don't try too hard to get out
The blue lights keep me fascinated
And you just wanna be sedate

Looking glass mirrors don't
Make the picture clearer
They just cloud my perception
And give you a false sense of direction

Open up my eyes
Let me see your lies
Open up my lies
I want to see your eyes

Feeling like a child and
God knows that this has been a while
Why do I reach for it all
When they know I'll only fall?

Everyone knows I will fall
Everyone knows I will
They all, they know I will

Open up your eyes
Let me see my lies
Open up my lies
I want to see you
I want to
I want to

that was a serious

plea for help.


What can I tell her???


She won't believe that I have friends that like me enough to lend me that kind of money without me doing something for it...................

Though I wonder how long I can keep it a secret?:P


weight is awful with all the stress I've been under plus a boy who buys chocolate milk all the time ((not to mention donuts and the like...)) but I have one more test today and then my stress becomes manageable with two more tests next week, a research project to work on, a composicion in espanol, a couple more papers....


Oh fuck what am I saying I'll never manage this stress correctly........



I feel a fast coming on. It'll help heal my lung.
:]

I Moved

away from the crazy landlord and into an equally crazy house ((but for different reasons)) a block across the street from my school, and over $100 cheaper.

The problem is my parents don't know and I don't know how to explain how I managed to pay for the whole thing...


And I have a paper to write and a test tomorrow and French//Spanish hw to do........



And I'm dating a heroin addict.
Who likes to buy me chocolate.

fuck.